Westchester Town Name Game

Westchester Magazine apparently recognized our dubious knack for coming up with fake names for things, and tapped us to brainstorm some new town names for various Westchester burgs that better suit the town’s character. Put another way, I was to come up with fake town names for the region that work in/play on attributes of the town.

The magazine used the concept as the opener in its January issue, with a cute little train station graphic, featuring towns such as Ryeote (remember when Rye was beset by coyotes in the fall?) Clintonqua, EarlytoBedford, Damsico and VeryExpensivePurchase.

They also added a few of their own, such as Schoolsdale, Artskill and Port Culinary.

See, Westchester Magazine is keen on promoting the county, and talking up the schools in Scarsdale, the art in Peekskill (didn’t know about that one!) and the food in Port Chester.

A bunch of my suggestions ended up on the proverbial cutting room floor, deemed either not very funny or too weird for a mainstream audience (I get that a lot), or too subversive for the upstanding people of the 914.

So I’ll share those. As readers of these cyberpages know, Pleasantville is Priusville. (Westchester Magazine labeled the central Westchester village “ArtsyFilmsville”.) Dobbs Ferry is FacebookFoundersFerry. Larchmont, and all its Frenchies, is Larchmontmartre. Neighboring Mamaroneck, with its Italians, is Mammamiamaroneck.

I also liked my suggestion for Ossining–SterlingCooperDraperPrycining, which any watcher of Mad Men, which I assume is most of us grown-ups here in the Drapers’ home county, would get.

The magazine went with OSinSing.

Here was the intro:

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Every now and then, a town elects to switch its name to something more marketable, less embarrassing–or something that better reflects the burg’s character. Fourteen years ago, residents of the former North Tarrytown famously voted to change the village’s name to the more evocative Sleepy Hollow. And “Pleasantville” certainly says more about that charming mid-county village than its former name, Clark’s Corners.

With that in mind, we humbly suggest new names for a handful of Westchester’s hamlets and towns.

 Please pass along any of your own town name suggestions.

This entry was posted in Chappaqua, Larchmont, Mamaroneck, Ossining, Priusville, Valhalla. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Westchester Town Name Game

  1. TenFour says:

    How about OnlyPlaceInAmericaWhereBroadwayIsADeadEndStreetfor Hawthorne?

  2. harv sibley says:

    Unionville, for Mount Pleasant….which, in reality was the real name way back when. It still reflects the relative blue collar worker that resides in this town, the town that built the railroads, that built the Kenisco Dam, and the town that loves downtown flat roof buildings.

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