Joe Simonetti is Too Good For the Train

The new issue of Larchmont Ladies Who Lunch…I mean Westchester Magazine… has a feature on a psychotherapist who embarks on a 45-mile commute from northern Westchester to the Upper West Side–a 3 1/2-hour jaunt one way.

“I want to shoot myself when I’m on the train,” explains Pound Ridge resident Joe Simonetti. “I feel like a piece of cattle.” (Uh, which “piece of cattle”, Joe, the right flank? The left-rear hock?)

I don’t think I like this guy. He rides a 27-speed LeMond Buenos Aires bike, which sounds really expensive. He fuels up on “egg whites on a pumpernickel bagel with a little Swiss cheese” while he’s riding. He’s wearing bike shorts and bike shoes in the photo; he looks like the kind of a guy who owns two Priuses and chastises his grandson for playing with a toy Hummer.

Simonetti says he does this crazy commute twice a week, six months out of the year (he stops when it gets a little chilly in November), but doesn’t reveal how he gets to work the rest of the time.

Would that be the god-forsaken train, Dr. Simonetti, with the rest of us piece of cattle?